Nice To Meetcha Nietzsche!

Sorry, tonight is just littered with puns..

I'm sorry I was so long to post for a while. Who am I appypollylodging to? No one reads this blog. Ah, well. I have really clutzy fingers today, I had to use the backspace on almost every word so far!

just one of those days.

So I've been going out with Ian for four months now. ^ ^ I love him so much! We can talk on the phone for hours and never get bored. We work so well togather. My art is improving and I have a volunteer job as a theater camp councellor.

Life ist good ^ ^

If you read throught all my old blog entries you can see csuch changes in mwa. I think I started this blog in like......early 8th grade. and now i'm going into my sophmore year. Yeah, the worst year but i'll make the most of it.

I had seared salmon and rice for dinner and i'm still hungry....ugh! I'm so add right now.

theres blood all over my arm right now.... i picked a bug bite. >.< I've gotten really far in Zelda, but i'm stuck at the sols part!!! Damn that hand!!!


I'll write later!

~Socrates

Vareeting Zammechat

'Alo Lovelies.



It is I, Socrates, here again on this lovely March evening. The weather has been lovely lately and things have been going swimmingly. I feel rather british today....I watched the Ali G show today and I just won the new Lily Allen cd on WHSN...Too many british influences. I'm not big on the Brits.
Hugh Grant.. Great! ^ ^
Posh Spice....*cringes* >.<

I'v also been doing a lot of online quizzes lateley...they suck. I don't need someone whose screenname is
xcutterxdemonx666x telling me that I'm "lonely and dark inside" because I marked my favorite color as green, or that I'm "cute but psychopathic" because I checked my element as wind... These things don't even make sense!! God, It makes me so sad to think that some poor kids are relying on these people to be their psychologists and diagnose them as "emo", "goth", or "prep". Last year I went on quizilla and on the tags there were words like "elements", "Music", and "Art", but these positive sources were replaced by things like, "Death", "Depression", "emo", and "cutting". As one who has been through these things myself, it saddens me to see these things glamourized.






My friend Erica has these earrings shaped like razorblades that she got from HotTopic. I HATE THOSE EARRINGS! omfg, they make me want to rip them out of her ears everytime I see them. What are they promoting?? Cutting! What are they glamourizing? Depression! God, this culture is so....so warped.
Hot Topic commercializes what should not be commercialized.

If you were wondering what the title meant, Vareeting Zammechat is Clockwork Orange speak for.....Cooking up Brilliance. I feel like something great is coming into the future. ^ ^. The weather does this to Jess. Spring is so wonderful. I guess I'm too optimistic, but I can't help it. If I annoy you, simply click the little "X" up in the top righthand corner of your screen. Thats the beauty of the internet. Godlike power.
I feel like writing a lot lately, lucky for you readers.

` Yeah, If you or anyone you know is missing a skull beltbuckle that was brocken and soddered back togather, notify me and I'll give it to you to give to them. I found it on the floor in lower B lobby and it has a lot of negitive energy and its disrupting my aura. I must get rid of it. T.T *jess cries*

I'll give you some pics of J-pop star Miyavi to drool at.


theres ,"wet t-shirt contest" Miyavi
theres,"does my deoderant smell good?" miyavi
and last theres, "These glasses make me look like a chick, but I'm still hotter than you" miyavi

I like the picks of him all manly and smoking. He looks too pretty-boy in these pics, but I'm tired and its 9:55...
Ok, jess must go and read.

Signing off,


~Socrates

Slideways is Rightways

Hey Everyones!



I've been doing some self promotion lately.. ^ ^ yeah I'm that lame. I just wanted some people in my chinese class to see another side of me. >.O I DO have a brain!! *pulls it out of skull* SEE?! Whenver I go to Chinese class I get really happy ^ ^ I love Ye Laoshi, shes so nice. But unfortunetly for my lovely tongxuemen they don't get to see the other sides of Jess...... :( .....

So I decided to treat them to that pleasure! <.< >.> it is a pleasure isn't it? \

I'm in a very Franz Ferdinand mood today (40' is playing right not.....oh shit it just skiped...on iTunes?! arg....*changes song to The Dark of the Matinee) Yeah they rock, but they need to set out a new album. I'm tired of the latest one. I've also found a new music interest called Mika. I don't know how to pronounce it....Myka? Meeka? Whatever.

I'm really sick of all this talk about the British sailors that are being held by Irqaqi forces. The US and UN making it out to be like the sailors are being held hostage by terrorists. Wouldn't we have done the same thing is they came in OUR waters? Jesus, if a middle eastern man tries to board a plain we check his fucking ears for ticking. Whatever.

O.O .......... V.V

I just heard that my friend Peter broke his arm. I have mixed feelings. Jess had a crush on Peter, but he just used her until he could get ahold of something better, which usually was soon. Then he'd just dump me on my ass. He was egocentric and charming. Beautiful and Sickeneing... He knew I liked him and on Monday he wrote me this long rejection letter ((ooh jess I love someone else and I don't wanna hurt you)) He would flirt and flirt and play around until Stevi came over and then He'd forget about me like that. *snaps fingers*


My friend Alex is amazing, he is in utter love with stevi and ever since he got suspended Pete has been all over her. Its sad, she just encourages it (whether she knows it or not). Alex is like a brother to me and it kills me to see Pete all over her (especially 'cause I liked ((notice past tense)) him)


Serves him right!


But at the same time I feel like I'm gonna cry...... Stevi, Peter, and all my friends went to the skate park today without me and I knew something bad was gonna happen. My mom's thrilled about this whole thing (she hates Peter) but I can't stop my impulses to run over to him in tears and hug him and heal all his wounds......omg I hate this, I have to call him........ *tears* No! Thats what he deserved.....right?

I have to make better friends. I can't take this anymore. I wanna make friends with this guy in my Chinese class named Lou Yan (chinese name to protect identity). But I hardly see him outside that class. My friend Jackie knows him. Oh, god Jackie knows everybody.

I feel like suffocating myself with a dead body right now......But instead I'm just suffocating myself in my own misery..... Tommarrow I woun't coo over Peters arm. I'll just laugh at his lack at skatebording skills.....Jess can't be that mean!!! WHAT DO I DOOOOOOO?????? *cries* I actually was crying on the bus today....Yes it was over my lack of good friends.


My text is blue to represent my tears.....Oh great now I'm acting fucking emo.

I shall put up a picture of Gackt to cheer myself up. He's so sexy, he always works. ^ ^ ........(waits to be cheered up)

Yours,


Socrates

Halfway Normal

Hey Everyone!

Did you see, I changed my profile picture! ^ ^ Its of Sailor Neptune! HIYAH! She kicks serious ass, yeah! If I was a sailor scout I would totally be her, she's just sooo me!

So I was sitting there....where was I....ummm... Oh yeah, I was at the docters office and there was a time magazine there. In noticed they have a little section deticated to blogs that are awesome. I can't wait Angels of Rebellion gets noted there.... *sigh* i'd be soooo happy ^ ^ Yes I have a few loyal followers, but I must have a few thousand to be "noted".

Spread the word!! Angels needs to be nominated!!

Is it just me or is this time change throwing everyone off? I can't stand it! omg, I'm looking outside and its 6:00 (well 6:21...) and its STILL light out. I remember one summer I HATED my mom for making us go to bed when it was still light out. omg, I was so mad, but I was like 7 so I guess I didn't have much to do and it was like 8:00 anyways... I was still mad though.

Guess what? Its almost St. Patties day and that means its almost time for Socrates to make her yearly St. Patties day post!! *crowd cheers*

All of you that have itunes out there: I've been making mixed cds for about a year now, they're called the Assorted Evils Series (1-6) I made a special versian for itunes so go check it out in the iMix section. Its gotten such high ratings thus far, i'm soooo happy ^v^

I must go and bring my half eaten plate of food downstairs, loves.

Yours fully,

~Socrates

Lolita Leaves you Locked

Hey Lovelies!!

I know I haven't written much lately, I've been soooo busy lol.

I've been on a creative spree lately, the creative juices are gushing out of my eyes!!! ^v^ yaaaayy!!! I'm not that hyper right now, I'm just really happy. Have you ever had one of those days where you're just plain sirene? I love those days.

I usually don't like evanescense, the chicks voice is always the same..... But I loooove the song call me when you're sober!! It rocks, man!!! ^v^ hell yeah I just downloaded it <3

*socrates is rocking out* hell yeah!!

So I was reading Psychology Today and they had an article about Kawaii art in japan. They were trying to figure out what made japanese people so attracted to hello kitty. Apparently Hello Kitty symbolizes the childhood they never had. Japanese children are very restricted and are exspected to be very mature. Hello Kitty is the sweetness and cuddiling that they want so bad. Plus, some couples who want children turn to hello kitty for something to protect and love. Shes perfect, sweet, adorable, and completely dependent. Hello Kitty doesn't have a mouth, so she can't speak for herself. It made complete sense to me.

It kinda bothers me when people dress and act half their age. Lolita. I love the way the style looks and I followed that for so long (I could never really afford the clothes, but I admired it ^v^). It just seems to me that their reverting back to their childhood roots to escape the dangers of the adult world....or disguise them. The Goth-Lolita style is huge in japan and it makes me wonder....Japan is also the worlds biggest producer of child porn (it was banned in 1996, i think) so they use the appeal of dressing like a six year old to attract men......It seems so strange now that i look at it from a psychiatrists view.. I need to stop reading Psychology Today, it screwed up my whole style!! >.<

But then again, if you dress like a six year old what men are you going to attract? Pedophiles!!! I can't believe people are glamorizing this..... Butthe clothes are so elegant and beautiful. I'll become a fashion designer and take the lolita style and grow it up a bit ^ ^, right after I write my best selling manga, direct my oscar winning movie, and release my chart topping album, lol

ahhhhh friday n.n tgif, eh?

Ta Ta for now, loves!!!

~Socrates Volkova

Loves Me.....Loves Me Not.

Casting Shadows.

Thats basically what I've been doing for the past 2 years.


you can tell from the state of my room, that they let me out too soon.


missed me missed me
now you've gotta kiss me

Good News: I have really AMAZING friends *glomps them* they're wonderful, i'm gonna cry. I'm so lucky to have all of you. ((I feel like i'm giving an oscar acceptance speech. "And the award for most boring life in the world goes to: SOCRATES VOLKOVA!!)) Not to mention that smexy boyfriend of mine ^ ^

Bad News: Forgetting about all the stuff happening at home, things are going really hard with Dan and I. he is accusing me of being in love with his best friend and cheating on him and all that shit. I don't need his paranoria right now. I'm already stressed, crushed, and dead inside . Then when I get to school, he does things like when i'm depressed he'll try to cheer me up (it never works, i'm an idiot and it would take a wrecking ball to tear down the wall that builds between me and people when i'm depressed.) since his cheerfullness just makes me sad because i hate myself for letting him down i get ecen more depressed. I usually do 2 things when we're at this point. I either put on my usual mask of happiness and pretend to be cheered up (which just makes dan mad), or i just get angry and depressed even more. Either way, on the third stage Dan always does the same thing. He takes all my deppression, multiplies it a thousand times and throws it right back at me. This doesn't help cause it just makes both of us depressed. Its not his fault, its mine because I'm helpless when i'm depressed. there are only like , three people that can help me. I'd never ask them to, though.
BUT no one wants to hear about bad news ^_^ Ignore all that, dears!!

My school work is failing and my art is in a permanent stage of isolation.

Here is what i'm thinking right now:

half jack

half underwater
i'm half my mother's daughter
a fraction's left up to dispute
the whole collection
half off the price they're asking
in the halfway house of ill repute

half accidental
half pain full instrumental
i have a lot to think about
you think they're joking?
you have to go provoke him...
i guess it's high time you found out

it's half biology and half corrective surgery gone wrong
you'll notice something funny if you hang around here for too
long ago in some black hole before they had these pills to take it back
i'm half jill
and half jack

two halves are equal
a cross between two evils
it's not an enviable lot
but if you listen
you'll learn to hear the difference
between the halfs and the half nots

and when i let him in i feel my stitches getting sicker
i try to wash him out but like she said:the blood is thicker
i see my mother in my face
but only when i travel
i run as fast as i can run
but
jack comes tumbling after....

and when i'm brave enough and find a clever way to kick him out
and i'm so high not even you and all your love could bring me down
on 83rd he never found the magic words to change this fact:
i'm half jill
and half jack

i'm halfway home now
half hoping
for a showdown
cause i'm not big enough to house this crowd
it might destroy me
but i'd sacrifice my body
if it meant i'd get the jack part OUT

see

jack

run.....

copyright 2002 amanda palmer

+MANIC DEPRESSION+

this song describes exactly how I am feeling at the moment:

"GIRL ANACHRONISM"

you can tell
from the scars on my arms
and cracks in my hips
and the dents in my car
and the blisters on my lips
that i'm not the carefullest of girls

you can tell
from the glass on the floor
and the strings that're breaking
and i keep on breaking more
and it looks like i am shaking
but it's just the temperature
and then again
if it were any colder i could disengage
if i were any older i could act my age
but i dont think that youd believe me
it's
not
the
way
i'm
meant
to
be
it's just the way the operation made me

and you can tell
from the state of my room
that they let me out too soon
and the pills that i ate
came a couple years too late
and ive got some issues to work through
there i go again
pretending to be you
make-believing
that i have a soul beneath the surface
trying to convince you
it was accidentally on purpose

i am not so serious
this passion is a plagiarism
i might join your century
but only on a rare occasion
i was taken out
before the labor pains set in and now
behold the world's worst accident
i am the girl anachronism

and you can tell
by the red in my eyes
and the bruises on my thighs
and the knots in my hair
and the bathtub full of flies
that i'm not right now at all
there i go again
pretending that i'll fall
don't call the doctors
cause they've seen it all before
they'll say just
let
her
crash
and
burn
she'll learn
the attention just encourages her

and you can tell
from the full-body cast
that i'm sorry that i asked
though you did everything you could
(like any decent person would)
but i might be catching so don't touch
you'll start believeing youre immune to gravity and stuff
don't get me wet
because the bandages will all come off

and you can tell
from the smoke at the stake
that the current state is critical
well it is the little things, for instance:
in the time it takes to break it she can make up ten excuses:
please excuse her for the day, its just the way the medication makes her...

i dont necessarily believe there is a cure for this
so i might join your century but only as a doubtful guest
i was too precarious removed as a caesarian
behold the worlds worst accident
I AM THE GIRL ANACHRONISM

copyright 2002 amanda palmer