My Motionless Decay

Hello everyone.

I'm sorta hurting right now....idk. I've been having a lot of strange thoughts and dreams. Stuff like this happened once before but my mind was in such a definate place that it didn't effect me as much as it does now. I feel lonely and no one can understand. Everyone that tries to help me gets pushed away. I don't want to be helped. I don't want you to care about the reason why I'm like this. I just want to live without restraints. I don't think that any kind of love can fill the emptiness in my soul. I am not a good person, friend, or lover. I'm a hopeless romantic with conciously outrageous exspectations for everyone. I hate to hurt people that are my friends. I'm so moody and empty nowadays that I try to avoid them in hopes that I don't hurt them. I love my friends so dearly and I think they deserve more than me. There's only one person that I can be with and not worry about hurting. I'm so happy to be around them that the emptiness in me is forgotten and I can live. I feel the same way about all my friends but I often worry how I'm acting and put on a faulse front when I'm around my other friends. I'm so tired from being happy that Dan gets all the moody and depressed side of me. When Nariko comes over thursday I'm going to plan a big get togather with ALL my friends and then, maybe, my emptiness will go away. Lately, this gapeing hole in my heart has been growing and engulfing all feelings of happiness or hope. I can only hope that it will disinagrate before I become a waxy shell of no emotion.


Sincerly,
Socrates

Appy Polly Lodgies!!

Hey everyone!

I'm so sorry that I've been gone for so long. I tried to start a new blog, but it just wasn't the same as Angels so I came back.....Nyah.

So much has happened, Cheshire is SOOOOO BIG!! He's a big kitty yes he is!! I'm going into high school as soon as summer ends, and I'm NOT looking forward to it >.<>

I got a new computer too. Finnaly I don't have to suffer with a Windows 95. I needed it so I could download videos for my iPod...I wuv it! ^.^ bad news is I downloaded a ton of songs from iTunes that I have to pay money to re-download. >.<>

I can't wait 'till Clerks 2 comes out! I loved the first one! MWA... I missed this blog.....*hugs blog and all of its followers* my biggest internet dream is for this blog to be FAMOUS***** whee! Wouldn't that be fun? I think so... O.~
I feel so young. I dyed my hair dark red, I've never dyed my hair before so it kinda surprized me, but I like the outcome!


Enough Foofl for today!

Sincerly,
Socrates

One Last Chance

I'm giving blogger one last chance to make up for what it did to my internet reputation. Everytime I write a new post it gets destroyed. LISTEN TO ME BLOGGER, THIS IS YOU FINAL CHANCE!
Well in movie news I saw a Clockwork Orange over the vacation, it was really good. Really gruesome and powerful but good. I' m listening to the theme now. ^ ^
They're acctually talking about blogs on the news now and I feel special ^ ^ I dont feel like writing
but here's a short glossary of all the words in the NADSAT launguage used in a clockwork orange. the words with the * are the words that seem to have no russian orgin.


* appy polly loggy - apology baboochka - old woman baddiwad - bad banda - band bezoomny - mad biblio - library bitva - battle Bog - God bolnoy - sick bolshy - big, great brat, bratty - brother bratchny - bastard britva - razor brooko - belly brosay - to throw bugatty - rich cal - feces * cancer - cigarette cantora - office carman - pocket chai - tea * charles, charlie - chaplain chasha - cup chasso - guard cheena - woman cheest - to wash chelloveck - person, man, follow chepooka - nonsense choodessny - wonderful * chumble - to mumble clop - beak collocoll - bell * crack - to break up or "bust" * crark - to yowl? crast - to rob or steal; robbery creech - to shout or scream * cutter - money dama - lady ded - old man deng - money devotchka - girl dobby - good * dook - trace, ghost domy - house dorogoy - dear, valuable dratsing - fighting * drencrom - drug droog - friend (ie: my droogies) * dung - to defecate dva - two eegra - game eemya - name * eggiweg - egg * filly - to play or fool with * firegold - drink * fist - to punch * flip - wild? forella - "trout" gazetta - newspaper glazz - eye gloopy - stupid * golly - unit of money goloss - voice goober - lip gooly - to walk gorlo - throat govorett - to speak or talk grahzny - dirty grazzy - soiled gromky - loud groody - breast gruppa - group * guff - guffaw gulliver - head * gulliwuts - guts * hen-korm - chickenfeed * horn - to cry out horrorshow - good, well * in-out in-out - copulation interessovat - to interest itty - to go * jammiwam - jam jeezny - life kartoffel - potato keeshkas - guts kleb - bread kootch - key knopka - button kopat - to "dig" koshka - cat kot - tomcat krovvy - blood kupet - to buy lapa - paw lewdies - people * lighter - crone? litso - face tomtick - piece, bit loveted - caught lubbilubbing - making love * luscious glory - hair malchick - boy malenky - little, tiny malso - butter merzky - filthy messel - thought, fancy mesto - place millicent - policeman minoota - minute molodoy - young moloko - milk moodge - man morder - snout * mounch - snack mozg - brain nachinat - to begin nadmenny - arrogant nadsat - teenage nagoy - naked * nazz - fool neezhnies - underpants nochy - night noga - foot, leg nozh - knife nuking - smelling oddy knocky - lonesome odin - one okno - window oobivat - to kill ookadeet - to leave ooko - ear oomny - brainy oozhassny - terrible oozy - chain osoosh - to wipe otchkies - eyeglasses * pan-handle - erection * pee and em - parents peet - to drink pischcha - food platch - to cry platties - clothes pletcho - shoulder plenny - prisoner plesk - splash * plosh - to splash plott - body podooshka - pillow pol - sex polezny - useful * polyclef - skeleton key pony - to understand poogly - frightened pooshka - "cannon" prestoopnik - criminal privodeet - to lead somewhere * pretty polly - money prod - to produce ptitsa - "chick" pyahnitsa - drunk rabbit - work, job radosty - joy raskazz - story rassoodock - mind raz - time razdraz - upset razrez - to rip, ripping rock, rooker - hand, arm rot - mouth rozz - policeman sabog - shoe sakar - sugar sammy - generous * sarky - sarcastic scotenna - "cow" shaika - gang * sharp - female sharries - buttocks shest - barrier * shilarny - concern * shive - slice shiyah - neck shlem - helmet * shlaga - club shlapa - hat shoom - noise shoot - fool * sinny - cinema shazat - to say * skolliwoll - school skorry - quick, quickly * shriking - scratching shvat - to grab sladky - sweet sloochat - to happen sloosh, slosshy - to hear, to listen slovo - word smech - laugh smot - to look sneety - dream * snoutie - tobacco? * snuff it - to die sobirat - to pick up * sod - to fornicate, fornicator soomaka - "bag" soviet - advice, order spat - to sleep spatchka - sleep * splodge, splosh - splash * spoogy - terrified * Staja - State Jail starry - ancient strack - horror * synthemesc - drug tally - waist * tashtook - handkerchief * tass - cup tolchock - to hit or push;blow, beating toofles - slippers tree - three vareet - to "cook up" * vaysay - washroom veck - (see chelloveck) * vellocet - drug veshch - thing viddy - to see or look voloss - hair von - smell vred - to harm or damage yahma - hole * yahoodies - Jews yabzick - tongue * yarbles - testicles yeckate - to drive * warble - song zammechat - remarkable zasnoot - sleep zhenna - wife zoobies - teeth zvonock - bellpull zvook - sound

Gomenasai

I have to apologize to my readers first and formost because I haven't been posting lately. >.<>

How Do You Spell "Obbsession"??

Well, Valintine's day is on the hunt and you can see it posted over every water fountain and cafeteria wall at my school. It seems as id this holiday has torn the minds out of every student council member and thrown them on a frenzy setting up people for dates and cutting pink paper hearts to hang over the cafeteria. Cupid has really done his part this year. At my school they have this "carnation celebration" where they have boys buy carnations for girls they like and the student council members give them out at lunch-time, which is sooo unromantic. They should leave a small handfull of rose petals on the person's desk in every class and at the end of the day meet them at their locker with a bunch of blood red roses and a kiss sweeter than any chocolates.......
*sigh* as you can probably see I'm quite the hopeless romantic. Saint Valentine's day is where the "hopeless" part comes in though. But this school is way worse. I mean, CARNATIONS??? They are the most hideous in all the floral category. So.....overused. You see them at weddings, funerals, dates, proms...ugh. The rose is the true ruler. I don't mean to sound cliche but I do like rosesz, mostly white or black ones. Or blood red, doesn't really matter to me. They have this whole "flower language" which confuses me and it's like: "Okay, well this guy just gave me a yellow carnation. He likes me." "No, yellow carnations mean 'friendship' duh" "Wait, I thought they meant he rejected you" It's all just so confusing.
I don't care, I just hope I don't get a yellow rose or I'll freak out because I really don't know what they mean, it's subjective I guess.
This whole world/art really revolves around love. Movies, paintings, music (have you ever noticed that almost ALL songs have something to love) etc. Which makes a hopeless romantic like me a perfect candidate to go into an art career. ^ ^
There's a valintine's day dance friday, which happens to be the same time as my mother's birthday. She had a date that night and I was supposed to babysit but I told her there was a dance and she changed it to saturday. I think I owe it to her to try to have a good time whether I get a date or not. Besides, there's good music and people. I may get slightly hyper, but that's ok. No matter how many rejections I get or lonely years pass by me I'm never giving up hope! ^ ^ there's someone out there for everyone, isn't there? And if there isn't someone for me I can still be happy. I'm going to japan anyways, who needs lovers when you can have POCKY!!! Bite that cupid!
Sincerly Single,
SOCRATES VOLKOVA~

Nariko Is Here!!!!!!!! ^ ^

*EXTREAME HAPPINESS FROM SOCRATES* agggghhhhh!!! ^ ^ In case you haven't heard my besssstttttt friend Nariko has madeth a BLOG!!!!! YAYY!!! I am soooooo happy, I love Nariko!! She sooooo rules! Nariko's blog is really awesome! She has a slog too called, The Hurricane's Art. Nari-chan is really great with names, he blog is named Nariko's Electricity, nariko is japanese for thunder so it makes it sound so cool. I've been begging her to help me re-model my blog (yes, I'm re-modeling) and pick out a name for it but she says i'm creative enough to do it myself.....*sigh*
oh well, i'll come up with something ^ ^ Nariko and I have been best friends since the seventh grade, yes I know thats not a long time to some people but that's the longest time i've ever had a friend.. :( it's true. I usually move or they get bored of me. *sadness*

oh well Y'know how like stupid ditzy gals have those friends they have for a week and their, like, totally best friends *stupid giggle* but then one backstabs another and they break up and the next week get back togather again? Nari-chan are so opposite. She understands me and knows that even though I may be insane and strange on the outside I'm really happy and romantic (more like a hopeless romantic -.-') on the inside!
She knows me better than anybody else! We get along so well, our teachers in the seventh grade used to say we were inseperable, which was true. In every class we would pass notes and I don't think there was a day when we were apart, the i moved and now she calls me everyday and we talk for hours, still inseperable!! Even the forces of nature can't keep us apart lol ^ ^ is there anything that anyone could want more than a lifetime best friend?I couldn't want more ^ ^ ((except for love *hopeless romantic sigh*))

Our plan is to go through highschool taking accelerated writing courses and art ((me mostly art, I'm going to be drawing the manga)) and then once we get into college Im going to this art school in massachusetts called.....uh....I can't really remember it right now but I know it starts with a "M". After college we'll take all the money we made during college and summer jobs and other jobs and stuff and move to japan. We'll live in a small apartment untill our books make it big and we'll be famous. LOL, I know it may be far-fetched but with my soon to be art skills and Nari-chans flawless and exciting writing (me too of course, I wrote half of it, we wrote the role play togather ^ ^ ) we are destined to make it big. ^ ^ it makes me all happy thinking about it. Nariko knows a lot of japanese, I know some. I'll have to take a lot of courses on it in college, got to be fluent to be in with the locals *wink*

Did I mention Nariko can sing? She can REALLY sing. I listen to her sing malice mizer and other japanese artists and I don't think I can pronounce half the words she's throwing out there at perfect timing to the music. The only songs I can really sing to are utada and t.A.T.u. I love singing along with t.A.T.u , but Nariko is the only one of my friends who will ever hear me sing. NO ONE ELSE! >:(
Visit Nari-chan's site!!! www.air-clouded-blood.blogspot.com

~ Socrates Volkova

The Theory of January

Ah......January. Such a blissfull month for people with real lives. A fresh new beggining and new years parties and everyday is just another day twords valentine's day where they can look forward to the perfect date with their cuddle buddy.
New Year's eve was a total blow because I stayed up watching movies and missed the ball drop and I woke up in the morning all grumpy and the house was a mess from "partying" I would like to call it partying but I've never actually been to a party so I guess it was just from my siblings being excited. January is also the beginning of slud season in maine where the slush and mud combine on the sides of the road and make an industrial eyesore reminding us that the whole world will look like slud season in a couple years. It is the time after christmas and the relatives pack up and head back home and you have a whole 'nuther year 'till the next christmas season. And don't even get me started on valentines day, that comes in another post >.<. ((V.Day is my absolute loveit/hateit holday, if I don't have a bf by that time I hate it, if I have one I love it.....for the past 13 years i've hated it -.-')) But deep down I do like valintine's day, not many people would think though. I can be a romantic person at times, really! I tend to be either a gothic romantic or a victorian romantic person. Not a cupid romantic. The whole rose and chocolate thing is nice but somewhat boring. I do like white roses though, remind me of the moon ^.^.
On the other hand, I hate assorted chocolates. Usually they turn out to be cherry syrpy chocolates >.<>.<') or a kurama plushie, kurama is a fox demon who has a rose whip so he's suitable for valentine's day. "Rose whip, thorn wheel, HA!" sorry.....random outburst. And posters!!! Who doesn't love posters??? ^ ^
oh well, I'll end this post with another picture of mana, I was hoping to find one of him in red of pink for valentine's day, but I forgot he doesn't wear such hidious colours. I don't blame him.

Cross-Dressing Composers and Apologies

Composer reports are begining to be asigned. Not really asigned, chosen. Everyone chooses the same old dead composers, but there are so many more contemporary composers that are interesting to me. Like Danny Elfman (songs for Nightmare before Christmas) But I choose Mana from Malice Mizer. ^ ^ Mana!!! ManamanamanamanaMANA!!! I loooovvvvveeeee mana. He's my favorite out of the bend members. But I had to go to hell and back to get him as my composer, and then I had to explain to the music teacher what a "visual band" was. And she still doesn't get it >.<>.<>.<>
But currently I'm listening to Utada, a very mellow english version of utada, so I'm nice and calm. ^ ^ Easy Breezy ((<---haha pun, name of song I'm listening to ^^)) See people? You can come out of hiding! I'm fine now ^_^ *yawn* but ish very tired
TOMMARROW IS FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!! see I can type something energetic although I am muy, muy energetic-free. I don't want to say tired because Today is the night where all the tv shows of the new season premire and I am sooooo watching them ^ ^ Four Kings here I come!!!


Hope you have a good weekend and if you're new to my blog check out my other posts, hard to believe but they REALLY are just as good as this one!! Seriously ^ ^

~Socrates Volkova
ps: today my text matches the tints in mana's hair ^_^ <3

Some Guys Just Can't Hold Their Arsenic

Lately I've been downloading songs like crazy. I found all my cds and it took me half a day to get them all on my iPod. I got this thing called LimeWire and it's kind of like Nabster before it whent commercial. You can download an unlimited amount of songs for nothing. ^ ^ Basically All I've been downloading on it is Weird Al, but I did get the Chicago soundtrack! I love the Cell Block Tango, I'm listening to it right now as I type this.
What really annoys me is that the people who read my blog only scroll down to the end of the first post, thinking the one underneath it is old. 'Socrates' thoughts on life and death' was a good and well thought out post and it makes me sad that no one read or left a comment on it :(
On the other hand I missed the ball dropping last night, instead I watched Nausicaa and the Valley of the Wind. It was really good, but unfortunetly it held the some old message of all Hayao Miyazaki's other films. Protect the enviornment and peace. Not that that's bad, it just gets a little boring after a while. Another thing is Miyazaki's characters have all the same face. Even the guys have the same faces as girls, just bushier eyebrows.
I have a 'slog' now. That's an internet slang I made up for a song blog. It's just a place where I post song lyrics to my favorite songs because it would be boring if I did it here. the address is: www.greeneyesofthedeadgirl.blogspot.com

Check it out, I like it a lot. ^ ^ It doesn't have may posts yet, but I'm working on it. ^ ^

Oh dear

Yes, oh dear is right.

My mother used to work at a sushi place downtown,she worked there for a really long time so she knows everyone there really well. Well, I went there a lot too and made friends with the guy who runs the sushi bar, he's really funny and my best friend lacey likes him too. With his accent he is easilly my favorite person there, his name is Ting. Ok, for the next part you need to know that I do not "like" him, he is old. I like him in the same way that I like old turtle men, y'know he's cute in a funny way. Oh god, I love Ting ^ ^ Lacey and I were joking around on the phone and she said I should propose to Ting. She acted me proposing and I did Ting and it was all funny as hell with his cute Korean accent and all. ((yes, it's a japanese resturant but I think he's from korea)) So we were joking around and all and I said I would propose next time I went to Ichiban. That time hasn't come yet, though.
The oh dear part comes after I find out that I was talking about all this and this kid was standing next to me. This kid's name was Raymond, Ting's son. So, after I found this out I quietly slipped away to find a place to hang myself, no, just kidding. But that'swhat it felt like. Looks like I'm not gonna propose to ting anymore -.-'
I can't wait till I'm old enough to work at Ichiban, that place rules. Maybe I get brush up on my japanese before I go to japan.

LONG LIVE GACKT CAMUI!!!!!!!!! ((the pic)) ahhhh.....he's so hot.......Look, my text matches his eyes!! ^^

Socrates's thoughts on life and death

There are many obscure ways a person could die.

They could be crushed by an elevator, suffocated by a cat, burnt by a flaming cross, have their voicebox ripped out of their throat with pliars, skin shaved off with sandpaper to the bone, dismembered slowly, drowned on the wheel, locked in a box in the ground, eaten alive, eyes eaten out and infected after, their body hollowed out and filled with candels so it makes a human jack-o-lantern....well you get the point. The worst death for me would have to be the buried alive one. That scares me to death, just to have to watch yourself slowly loose consiousness and no one knows except your killer.
It is very improtant to have your death all figured out before you die. You wouldn't want to die before you pick out your outfit and have your desendants pick out one that's really ugly, wouldn't you? I would like to buried in a 100 year old victorian dress so if historians some day dug me up they would be like:
" She's from the victorian era, look at the dress."
"No, her body's not that old"
"Why is she in that dress then?"
"the dress is that old"
And my life would be a mystery. ha ha ha. No, I wouldn't want to be buried at all. Lieing there ((yes, lieing is correct. Check with my english teacher)) for centuries rotting away. I would much rather be burnt. Not cremated, but burnt out in the open so the smoke could go up in the air and toxicate our atmosphere and eat away the ozone.
I doubt I'd go to heaven. I wouldn't want to, boring. I wouldn't fit in there, all saintly and crap. And there's also the question of sex in heaven. Saints, nuns, popes, preists are supposed to be virgins, so if that's one of the sacrifices they make to ensure they're entrance into heaven, I doubt there'd be sex in heaven. Also sex is just something that organisums do to reproduce. Well, if they're dead the don't really need to reproduce so it's kind of worthless. So if there is no sex in heaven then that means there musn't be any in hell, because hell is just supposed to be a torture pit where you are sentenced to pay for your sins in pain and agony in Lucifer's grip. Perverts whom believe that there is sex in hell would much rather spent their days in torture with sex than sit around heaven without it.
I doubt I'd go to hell too. Lucifer would probably get annoyed with me and kick me out, then I'd be a earth bound spirit. Being a ghost wouldn't be that bad, as long as I had my iPod. I could terrorize people and drive them insane! I'd haunt houses and be featured in documentaries. No one could stop me ha ha! I'd run around creating chaos and havoc. Death rules. ^ ^
Unfortunetly, if the buddist's are correct ((which they are in everything)) and reincarnation is real then I am screwed. *is reincarnated into a fish* NOOOOOOO!! I HATE FISH!!! EWWWW!!! that would suck so bad. >.< please.....no reincarnation. I wish life and death were as simple as it was in the Corpse Bride. You die and you go to a bar. Who wouldn't want that?
I'd still rather be a ghost.
What about you?


SIN-cerly Socrates

What's this??

Christmas is a time for families to unite into one big ball of confusion and Kitchen traffic jams. My grandparents arrived for the holidays shortly after I came home from school with my great grandmother. This is the first time they've been at our house for christmas since........since we lived the first year in Ellsworth I think. 6th grade maybe. A long time, even so. That was the year my grandmother got her plasma tv. I like my grandparents a lot. They were teachers back in the day and they seemed to be very different teachers. My grandmother is loud and is not afraid to speak her mind, even if it means strangeling the girl at the counter who won't give her omney back on a cold cup of coffee. A very taurusey woman indeed. Even at this very moment she is behind me ranting about the lady at the pharmacy who wouldn't fill her perscription. My grandfather was a calculus teacher so he is very useful if my brain is moosh over a very difficult math assignment and he doesn't show very much emotion. Yeah, he'll tease you and stuff and grin about that but you couldn't get him to cry at a sob movie if you stuck a gun to his head. I act the same way......sometimes. Sometimes I show absolutely no emotion at movies, but most of the times I get....*cough* a little emotional. I don't cry though. Not like those prissy gals who sob over poor Bambi's mom and cling to their boyfriends. This little thing is called, ACTING. They may refuse to get on stage but when a sad part in a movie comes up, they become Best Actress of the Year to get their boyfriend's attention. Well at least those girls can cry at a disney movie, there are some who get all watery eyed at nature films. yes, you heard me.NATURE FILMS. An owl swoops down upon a mouse and ripps it apart and they cry on about how cruel it is. My dears, this is called SURVIVAL. Obviosly, they don't know the meaning of that word because they are so constantly depending on their man-slaves for all their whims and needs. It is a sad but true fact. Heck, I respect pole dancers more than I respect those kind of woman. At least they work for their money! I got a kitty!!!! Tis named Cheshire and he's soooooo cute!! He is gray with black stripes and white around his eyes and paws! I got him for chrismas early and I haven't stopped playing with him since I saw him in the box, he's only 8 weeks old. He has that poofy kitten fur and big golden anime neko eyes!! He ish so playful too, and he wuvs me ^ ^ of course he does, who would not love me? Lol! Okay, your dear Socrates has to scuddle to play with her new neko, so post a comment or be forced to drink helmlock *wink*
~Socrates Volkova

The explanatory cause

Most people don't understand what bubblegum goths really are. Whenever I mention them, tey hear the word 'goth' and automatically run for the hills. "goths are EVIL ahhhhhhhh!" "DEMONS!! DEMONS!!!" they think goths are satanic. I like goths, some consider me one. Alas, I am merely me, not really a goth. I find it too exspensive, personally. Have you seen the clothes in hot topic?!? You need to be like freakin' rich to have a wardrobe full of that, no matter how cool it may look. I usually make my own t-shirts if I want one that looks cool. Ok, back to where I was, Bubblegum goths are mostly the oppisite. I first found out about them from my crappy game, The Urbz, where in one of the districts ((neon east)) it was filled to the brim with these kind of people. I have some pics. UNfortunetly for me, none of the bubblegum goths in this godforsaken internet world can take the time to snap a pic of themselves and put it on google so I have to settle for game snapshots of the people of neon east. Lately I have been playing a lot of harvest moon. It is a farming game where you basically have to live out your life in a little valley town and I'm on the most important chapter, the beginning In this chapter, the main thing is to get one of the three potential bachelors to marry you. I have rock already to four hearts((the highest you can go)) and gustafa up to three. Rock is a blonde headed party boy, but he's cute and funny. His parents own the inn. Gustafa is the hard to get hippie who plays his guitar a lot and lives in a yurt. In my old game I married Marlin, my favorite. He ran a farm next to yours, and he was the cutest. He was the 'bad boy' out of 'em all, so I easilly got bored of him. They say nice guys finish last, but I get bored of the bad boys all too easilly. I think I'm going to propose to gustafa and play for a little bit, and not save, then propose to rock, play for a bit and see which one I like more. yea, I'll do that. And whichever one I choose, I'll do the other in another game. I have two harvest moon games. One with you as a boy character, and one as you with a girl character. As you could have probably guessed, I was talking aout the girl version above. The guy laying down in the pick up there is Rock, and the tiny pic is of gustafa.

What I used to be

It's strange how quickly things can change.
How suddenly, how sincerely. It feels like just yesterday I was that little girl. When I was little, I had curly blond hair in locks and vividly blue eyes. Seriously, they weren't sky blue, they were like deep sea blue. I liked bears and flowers, I used to pretend when my father was gone he would come to me like mufasa did to simba and tell me stuff like that. I'd recite lines from the lion king and pretend that I was a princess. I would talk to my sea monkeys and run with my dog. Once I kept jumping off a plastic picnic table to see if I could fly. I believed in fairy tales and coconut milk. I loved fables and I supported everyone in my family. I used to pretend I was Robin Hood's daughter and dress up and take a nerf archery set and go out and explore. When I swam at my grandparent's camp I would pretend I was a mermaid, lost from my homeseas. I loved lions and kitties and the color blue. I looked up tp my elders and loved to talk with old men (because they reminded me of turtels, I liked turtels). I spent hours inside my dog's doghouse with her when it was cold and believed the stories and lies my father wrought. I played the zilaphone and jumped rope by myself when I was lonely and played with my brother and sister when I wasn't. I believed with all my heart that santa clause would make me his head elf someday and would whisk me away to take care of the reindeer. I wanted to be a reindeer too. I have changed much...yes very much. It's like I'm a whole different person, really. I have darker hair and green eyes. I don't believe in fairy tales and I don't believe in santa. I know I can't be robin hood's daughter and I am certinly not a mermaid. I don't believe my father's bullcrap and I don't think I can fly. But I still do talk to inanimate objects and animals, and I like cats. But I don't really look up to elders anymore, I rather dibate intensly against them((rebel)). I have stronger views and I certinly am not HALF as cute as I was then. I looked sooooooo adorable. Really, I was. So young and innocent with anime-like eyes. I wish I was still that cute. Now I'm just an ugly teenager without a life. *sigh* but thats alright. Life's like that I suppose. I also had A LOT of friends when I was little. Now.......not so much. But the ones I do have are worth it in abundance. ^ ^ Oh YEAH! back then in like 1st through 6th grade I was popular too. I definately lost all of that. Not so social as I was back then, I guess. But, One fact still remains the same. I still love mushrooms and turtles. ^ ^ and funny old men who remind me of turtles. SOCRATES SAYS: mushrooms rule.

~Sincerly Socrates

My dream

I really have to stop eating chocolate before I go to bed, I had the strangest dream last night.
I was in a school. I was in the part of my school where it is just a square of land in the middle, where no one ever goes. I was looking around, confused. Some guy came up to me and started yelling at me, I ran to get away from him. I climbed to the top of the school and the roof and the school turned into the ellsworth public library, I was still on top of it, I looked around for the guy an he was behind me. At this point I realized that the guy was my vice principle ferguson, he was still yelling at me. I looked at the river flowing beneath the library and I jumped off the roof and into the muddy waters. I woke up JUST before I hit the water. I went downstairs to get a drink of water, and came back upstairs and fell asleep. Again the dream continued. I was in the waters, tugging the school behind me on a rope, the V.P. was swimming behind me. I screamed and swam. I couldn't hold the school much longer so I gave it to my dog colby to tug and swam twords an unknown shore. I watched my dog drown with the school, his body sinking into the waters. A boy was with me too, but I don't remember who he was exactly. He was my age, though. I climbed onto the shore and there was a house there, it was a video/book store. everything was dark and brown as the waters. I opened the door and something stranged sniffed me. I backed up a little bit and colby came out. But his jaw was wide, bloody and gaping, on the other side of his face like a piccasso painting. I ran past colby and into the house, colby followed me. I looked around the store. There were many dark isles of movies and books. Everything was crooked and mishapen like my dog. I picked up a book which read something about dragons in white letters. There door opened behind the counter and my mother came out, she said this was our new home. I looked at colby, he wagged his tail. I asked mom what happened to colby and she smiled and said that she kicked his face the wrong way around, and told me to give him these pills to make it right again. I took the pills instead. I picked up the phone in the room and called my best friend and cried and told her about colby. She acted indifferent and just said to give him the pills, give him the pills, give him the pills. I ran into the next room. It was colorful and bright, there were huge billboards and the walls were close but twisting and tall like a maze. My aunt came out, and I knew this was her house. There were signs of wealth everywhere. People with cameras stood around and in the kitchen kelly ripa was making a cooking show and showing the viewers how to make iced lattes out of Quarks, yes, the subatomic particles. She kept adding more alcohal and more and more. Untill it overflowed with thin brown liquid. She laughed and held the over-spilling cup to the screen and drank it, letting the grotesque liquid flow over her silk dress and floor. I went into another part of the house. I remember seeing green walls and my cousins coming in through the front door with huge gifts. I went into my aunt's room. She was getting dressed into a gold silk gown. I couldn't see her face. I just sat there on the bed.
Well, there's one of my dreams. I also had one with giant cheeze-it people and one that my mother got killed by m&m assasins. I've had crazier dreams than that. *sigh* I don't want to go back to school tomarrow.

~Socrates Volkova

Your majesty, I failed.

I haven't been in the mood to post lately. My life has just been one big train wreck after another. I'm so exausted from trying to cut corners from disaster that I can't save myself from the rest of them. I have now run a fever and collasped my mind under the stress of school. I know, my followers, that I have let you down.
No pictures
No jokes.
No rantings
No secrets.
Just this. These reminents of a tired and sad girl. I don't think I'll make it until christmas. Staring at walls and watching the glow of a television screen from your neighbor's windows. So dead. I just want to fast forward through school and right to vacation. I can't stand to bring myself in front of my classmates. So lifeless and plain. So stripped down of emotion and creativity. I have exams and tests that I am not ready for. I had to postpone my 1st degree black belt graduation because I'm dead. The only thing that keeps me going is the thoughts of the future, but now I fail to see them. My mind is as blank and unbearing as I was at science class today. I might post again, and I might not. I might delete my life on this blog with the click of a button as I do when I escape reality. Reality. I can't go back there. There is no escape. Only Socrates. Whom I am not. I am just a stupid thirteen year old girl posing as this great prophet and ranting about nothing important. I am nothing. So blank. So gone. Forget me, forget all of this

Whisper in the yard and turn the trees all into toys
lay there on the ground and turn the dirt into your joy
from what I see and what I know, it's all been boring lately
so I suggest we trade a question mark in for a maybe
time your riddles right and make a point that has no sense
make sure that you are smiling and that the moneys been well spent
innocence and ignorence, it all goes hand in hand
I'm not sure that I'm right but I hope you'll understand
I hope that you're still searching for the start that has no end
and all the plastic people that have now become your friends
befor eyou start to drift
and your soul begins to scream
I wanted to tell you
that you're listening to a dream.

Sincerly or not, the girl.

Merry Christmas Socrates

Wow , christmas is almost here and I can feel it in my bones! All the happyness and stress of the corprate hustle and bustle and the merriness of the people around. The little kids running around outside with rosy cheeks and pointing out their favorite toys in the window of the local toymaker's shoppe. The togatherness and the laughter, it's all so heartwarming!
Wish it was like that in my head.
Christmas, X-mas or Presentmas, whatever you want to call it has been changed from a quiet and religeous gathering to a corprate holiday. Back in the days you would have jolly old men make toys out of wood and paint them and sell them to you with a jolly ho ho ho. And children believed in Father Christmas. Now their just angry businessmen who can't get a date, pushing you to overcharge your creidit card with this and that, and using jolly old St. Nick as an advertizing figure. People are hardly home anymore! I went to my aunt's last year and we barely stayed home for an hour on christmas day! She lives in the suburbs so she has to decorate the house just right, and go to christmas party after christmas party and then throw her own cocktail party. She has to show up in church at just the right time so she doesn't look sac religeous or like an old woman with nothing else to count on except god. Have you ever realized that when you go to church there's a lot of old folks there? I think it's because they know they're gonna die soon so they're sucking up to the big guy before they kick el bucket. We set up are tree! We lost our old christmas ordaments in the move so we had to get ALL new ones. $200 spent on lights, garland, and bulbs. But it looks nice at least. I made the star this year, It looks so cool! I made it kind of look like a Dr. Suess star. ^^ yeah. Usually around this time of year we watch the classic: Merry Christmas Mr. Bean but I think we lost that in the move too :( that was my favorite episode!!! Where he plays with the nativity set, that was hilarious!! I love mr. bean. If my loyal followers are thinking of somthing to get your dear Socrates for Presentmas I can think of something **looks at the mr. bean christmas box set ((at suncoast, isle two, fourth row down,))** ^ ^ heheheh...no pressure now. ^ ^

May the Christmas Spirit be with you
~ Socrates

Real snow is overated.

'Ello my charming little donkeys *whipping noise* ::giggle:: uh yeah, I'm just getting ready for the weekly Craig Ferguson fest. It is a time where your dear Socrates consumes dangerous amounts of chocolate covered exspresso beans and caffine so she can stay up untill one thirty to see her favorite Late night TV host, CRAIG FERGUSON. He is extreamly talented in teh areas of comedy and I think we should all get togather and assainate that old geezer letterman so Craig can take his place ^^. Letterman isn't even funny. It's that black guy that's funny....I forget his name, but he's alright. Y'know that rookie girl that always goes up to make some stupid joke when Dave's playing audience show and tell?? She's the absolute WORST comedian I have EVER seen. I think that jacket she wears belongs in the dump, along with her jokes that I think people only make up when they get really stoned. She probably is stoned whenever she gets up there.....no that WOULD be funny. I guess it's just her crappy personality. Ok, I can usually make it pretty well past the crime dramas, but then it takes a break from entertainment and goes to WABI news at 11. That is my weakness, late night news. >.<
Right now I am playing with a can of fake snow! ^ ^ It's so cool, if only real snow were like this. It sprays easily onto any surface, such as wreaths, christmas trees, windows, and occationally the face of a younger brother or sister when they start to tick you off. You can't do that with real snow, can you? Plus, its not cold, cleans up easilly and YOU decide where it goes. Unlike real snow which takes its good sweet time when you need it and blasts full force to destroy any travel plans. *sprays snow in mouth*.......>.<'.....doesn't taste as good though...Bleck!!. Oh yeah, and in the spring, it doesn't get all muddy and ucky and brown by the side of the roads and become an eye sore. *nod nod* HEY!! y'know what I just realized? You can spray this stuff all over your dogs mouth and scream that he has rabies!!!! So realistic too...*looks at Colby((my dog))* *menicing grin* *colby goes into the living room quickly* drat. All right, my little horse like creatures but not as well regarded, you. I have to go and chase my dog around the house, but I will not leave without politely metioning the names of my friends' sites so if you get sad that my post is all done, you can visit their sites. Though they aren't as cool as mine, I'm sure they will hold you untill I get back ((just kidding, theirs are cool too))
Tom's site: http://mindofthepen.blogspot.com/
Becky's site: http://jfandango.blogspot.com/
Their baby sites so they don't have many posts, but they'll develop over time. ^ ^

SIN- cerely Socrates

Attack of the Foreign Substitutes

Let get this straight, I have NOTHING against people from russia. One of my favorite bands is russian. But this was no ordinary russian. I think she was some nazi commander shipped to russia after the war and had to start a new life under a new identity 'cause this one was and shall most likely remain the most hated substitute of all time. She took ove my favorite class with a whip in one hand and a hard cold look on her face that was probably established from her days with the nazis. She stood up at the front of the class and addressed us in a cold russian accented tone, and told us that we were to be well behaved and no talking unless addressed. So, I immedeatly sensed no danger because of my days with dealing against cruel teachers. I had a knack to get on their good side. But I overestimated my abitities. My most powerful weapons (bright eyes, quiet shy voice,a little when looked at) were no match against my ultimate weakness....screwing up. When we were reading the play, I accidently read someone else's line, this would have been alright if it wasn't for the fact that it was her ONLY line!!! I STILL cannot believe I was such a jerk *sadness* Ish so sawry. So, the girl looked at me and I said I was SOOO sorry and Ja- sorry erm...a kid made a face at me, and wouldn't turn around. I immedeatly tried to stifle my laughter, but then=m the whole class did that to me.....omg it sucked. So, I tried to continue to read my lines without laughing. The reagular teacher would have just laughed and said to go back and re-do that. But The ex-Nazi looked at me coldly. Mrs.Nazi: JiEss, es youer name JEiSs? Me: *cough cough* Y-yes? *blush* Mrs.Nazi: Dis es a eedukatonall pway, eet es aboot 'istoricc evvents an ve 'oo not laugh duering a serioss pway. Geet undar controll. ContinUE!! Me: *cough* umm......okay....(says last line smally) The Nazi commander glared at me the whole time....I hate her. I suppose it didn't help that her son's a fruitcake and when I talk back to him her reports it back to his dear old mummy. Her son is also in my class. Remember we call hot guys biscuits?? Well, the spawn of the ex-Nazi, he's a fruitcake. He'd be alright, but he's really mean. SIN-cerely Socrates

Liberty is a Lie

Right now I am in english and I am supposed to be working on my music project, but I got bored and decided to post something. ^^ The next period is the last, and the most sacred period before the class gets out for a weekend of freedom, Social Studies. It is a class where you can spew out all the crap about bush you like and not get in trouble with the teacher, because it is thus declared, politics, and to stop me from doing so would be a voilation of my rights to free speech. And I could take her to court.......I guess.....if I wanted to. *gonk* Once during social studies I spent half the period ranting on about the great trajeties that would occur if by any god forsaken chance that Arnold Swarzeneger were elected president. That would doom us all. He would have the power to take over the world and manipulate us to do whatever he wants. He kinda reminds me of Hitler, he's got just as much charisma. Poor america....it is forever corrupted by the greed of so called "presidents" who are really interested in the fame and fortune. But then again, america was made by those kind of people. I reccomend reading "ADDICTED TO WAR" a nice little comic book that displays the cruel, vile society that we live in today.