Socrates's thoughts on life and death

There are many obscure ways a person could die.

They could be crushed by an elevator, suffocated by a cat, burnt by a flaming cross, have their voicebox ripped out of their throat with pliars, skin shaved off with sandpaper to the bone, dismembered slowly, drowned on the wheel, locked in a box in the ground, eaten alive, eyes eaten out and infected after, their body hollowed out and filled with candels so it makes a human jack-o-lantern....well you get the point. The worst death for me would have to be the buried alive one. That scares me to death, just to have to watch yourself slowly loose consiousness and no one knows except your killer.
It is very improtant to have your death all figured out before you die. You wouldn't want to die before you pick out your outfit and have your desendants pick out one that's really ugly, wouldn't you? I would like to buried in a 100 year old victorian dress so if historians some day dug me up they would be like:
" She's from the victorian era, look at the dress."
"No, her body's not that old"
"Why is she in that dress then?"
"the dress is that old"
And my life would be a mystery. ha ha ha. No, I wouldn't want to be buried at all. Lieing there ((yes, lieing is correct. Check with my english teacher)) for centuries rotting away. I would much rather be burnt. Not cremated, but burnt out in the open so the smoke could go up in the air and toxicate our atmosphere and eat away the ozone.
I doubt I'd go to heaven. I wouldn't want to, boring. I wouldn't fit in there, all saintly and crap. And there's also the question of sex in heaven. Saints, nuns, popes, preists are supposed to be virgins, so if that's one of the sacrifices they make to ensure they're entrance into heaven, I doubt there'd be sex in heaven. Also sex is just something that organisums do to reproduce. Well, if they're dead the don't really need to reproduce so it's kind of worthless. So if there is no sex in heaven then that means there musn't be any in hell, because hell is just supposed to be a torture pit where you are sentenced to pay for your sins in pain and agony in Lucifer's grip. Perverts whom believe that there is sex in hell would much rather spent their days in torture with sex than sit around heaven without it.
I doubt I'd go to hell too. Lucifer would probably get annoyed with me and kick me out, then I'd be a earth bound spirit. Being a ghost wouldn't be that bad, as long as I had my iPod. I could terrorize people and drive them insane! I'd haunt houses and be featured in documentaries. No one could stop me ha ha! I'd run around creating chaos and havoc. Death rules. ^ ^
Unfortunetly, if the buddist's are correct ((which they are in everything)) and reincarnation is real then I am screwed. *is reincarnated into a fish* NOOOOOOO!! I HATE FISH!!! EWWWW!!! that would suck so bad. >.< please.....no reincarnation. I wish life and death were as simple as it was in the Corpse Bride. You die and you go to a bar. Who wouldn't want that?
I'd still rather be a ghost.
What about you?


SIN-cerly Socrates