Hello everyone.
I'm sorta hurting right now....idk. I've been having a lot of strange thoughts and dreams. Stuff like this happened once before but my mind was in such a definate place that it didn't effect me as much as it does now. I feel lonely and no one can understand. Everyone that tries to help me gets pushed away. I don't want to be helped. I don't want you to care about the reason why I'm like this. I just want to live without restraints. I don't think that any kind of love can fill the emptiness in my soul. I am not a good person, friend, or lover. I'm a hopeless romantic with conciously outrageous exspectations for everyone. I hate to hurt people that are my friends. I'm so moody and empty nowadays that I try to avoid them in hopes that I don't hurt them. I love my friends so dearly and I think they deserve more than me. There's only one person that I can be with and not worry about hurting. I'm so happy to be around them that the emptiness in me is forgotten and I can live. I feel the same way about all my friends but I often worry how I'm acting and put on a faulse front when I'm around my other friends. I'm so tired from being happy that Dan gets all the moody and depressed side of me. When Nariko comes over thursday I'm going to plan a big get togather with ALL my friends and then, maybe, my emptiness will go away. Lately, this gapeing hole in my heart has been growing and engulfing all feelings of happiness or hope. I can only hope that it will disinagrate before I become a waxy shell of no emotion.
Sincerly,
Socrates
6 comments:
This is what you call... depression! Congrats! But don't fret, kid. You'll be fine as long as you keep going. Trust me, I know. I've been there, done that, and kicked ass doing it. If it keeps going deeper it can probably turn into an existential crisis which, although painful, is so awesome once you're over it. You can seriously FEEL different, better and the good news is... YOU ARE! Just hang on. I'm here for you (yes, the weird but kind stranger) if you ever need to talk. And its a plus that I know what it is like, I can give you advice and understand the things your feeling better than others. Well, putting that aside, thanks for the comment! I'll try to check here regularly and you don't forget to check my blog, k? Also, let's be friends!!!! *grins* Well, however you want it. See ya!
okay! *happy face* YAY!! I'm so hyper right now.... o.O mwa ha ha !! SQuEEEE!!
I shall check your blog, NOW!
I know. I know... god DOES hate me... but I'm better now. I had a wonderful, undisturbing night last night so it's all good... for now... i can't wait for my relatives to leave so I can have my bed and innocent ears and mind back! Hahahahah hyper you is funny! hahahah
Oh yeah, and 6 am? 6 AM???? What the... Now it's my time to wince and cringe... I'm sorry but I guess it's all for the sport, ne? Good luck! Maybe you'll get used to it or something soon!
Hello Jess... Guess what? I'M SO HYPER!!! ^_^ *glomps you* to the ground ^_^ O.~ !!! I LOVE YOU!!!
generic brands of viagra online viagra soft tabs viagra shelf life mexico viagra free sample pack of viagra effects of viagra viagra effects on women viagra free pills what is generic viagra does viagra work viagra vs cialis viagra canada cheapest place to buy viagra online viagra online uk
Post a Comment